Just a couple things I found written down

I was sorting through my infamous "to do" box of papers and found these two little tidbits. I've forgotten where they came from, but I love them to peices. Therefore, I am blogging it.

The first one is a quote:

"I want to place my ordinary life in the hands of an extraordinary God"

The second one is something I heard somewhere:

"Life is never what you expect. It is everything you need"

And the third one (Okay, I lied) is how do I know that my dream is from God:

Is my dream from God?
1. It requires faith
2. It's going to make a difference in others
3. It comes from your heart
     (some reference was made to the greek word: kardiva which means "the real you")
4. There will be some opposition
     (like doubt, fear, impatience)

That's it.

My take on a daily view.

We're all guilty of this at some point, but some people do this every day! I loathe the way the radio announcers will announce almost any day lacking sun as a miserable or gloomy day. Have we become so self-absorbed that when we don't get what we want we label the whole day? Since when does the weather do what we want? I'll bet that there's a good bunch of people who would rather have sun every day of the week and put up with the fires, as long as it doesn't affect their day and plans.

The way I see it, every day has its beauty even if the weather isn't what you would like it to be. Step outside on a rainy day. Ever notice how things suddenly become more green and lush? Listen to the sound of rain falling on the trees, rooftops, and even the streets. Isn't it hypnotic and calming? Now look outside the window on a cloudy day. There's birds flying in formation. There's big tall pines. Sometimes, you can feel the wind as it blows through.

If there's beauty to be found in just about everything, why do we label just about everything as a let down when things don't go our way? We can't change the weather,so rather than discounting the day as gloomy, why not point out the special moments and the things that really are beautiful, and call the day partially cloudy with periods of pretty.

Passion, Purple Shoes, and a Playground

I'm not going to try and recap the last year of my life since my last post. That would be a monumental task and a rather long blog. I will suffice to say that I'm starting to grow up. Not by much, but enough to send me spiraling into an unknown world where life is wrought with confusion, anger, frustration, sadness, and exhillaration, excitement, and perhaps euphoria.

Today was a passionate one for me. While supervising 10 of 18 of my kids at the Elementary School as we awaited the second trip to arrive to take us back to the daycare, I found just how much I hate bullying. A 12-14 year old girl, backed by her 10-12 girl cronies, unleased her cruelty on another boy and his friend. The boys were probably 10 or 11. As juvenile as this sounds (they're in elementary school, of course they're juvenile), the bully was making fun of the one boy's shoes, pants, hoodie, or what ever else she could.

As far as I'm concerned, purple skate shoes are pretty sweet (or sick, which ever fits today's slang) and I see no reason why someone would think they're otherwise. The kid obviously had a style that he liked; an emo-gangster cross. He had the tight jeans, long sleeved t-shirt, large baggy hoodie with the hood up, and a pristine, flat-brimmed, hat. It suited him. It seems, however, that his choice of style were much too stylish for the majority of the kids. He definitely stuck out, as did his friend. Most other kids wore the standard fit jeans, mono-chromed shoes, shirts, sweaters, hoodies (hood down). I digress.

As I observed the jests, laughs, names, and other cruel descriptions thrown at this young man, I could see him put up a strong front to deflect these arrows of poison. An amused smile. Occasional shrugs. However, behind this wall, I could see the poison seeping through the cracks and stinging and staining his body. The arrows never reached, but the meaning did.

I confirmed this later, after the girls all went their separate ways, when I walked by and casually engaged this young man and his friend in conversation.
"I like your shoes"
Purple Shoes looks down, "thanks", he replied.
"Where did you get them?"
A reply was given, but I don't remember where.
"Do you like them?"
"yeah"
Purple Shoes continues, "But they're not a good idea to wear at school."
"Why?"
I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to open the door to further and deeper discussion about the day's events.
"'cause people like to make fun of them", Purple Shoes admitted.
From here, I talked to him about just how not cool that was, why what we wear, or what people say about us or even think about us isn't worth thinking about. I explained what really does make us who we are. After this, it was time to go.

I really pray that this something that could possibly be the start of a friendship that could change how things operate on the playground.

I am really passionately against bullying and the verbal, physical, and emotional abuse it brings. Bullies. Watch out.

So Excited!

K i dont know if this will work, but if it doesnt dont worry. Its just a countdown to the next release of my favourite operating system.

The Changing of the Seasons

Well, Its that special time of year where the flies begin to diminish to non-existence, where the trees are almost fully shed of their summer and fall fashions. Yes, the cold wind has swept into this beautiful and desolate country, bringing it with it thicker coats, brighter faces, and little clouds in front of our faces. Its almost winter.

Its not quite the full blown snow winter that we normally get here, but its almost there. The weather is definitely cold, but nothing miserable. Most people are getting themselves geared up by warming up their lungs to complain about the less than warm feelings Saskatchewan shares.

I personally love this and thrive on this wonderful season. The cold wind seems to bring out the life in all of us. No other season has our faces as bright. No other season has us running around outside at any given time. I feel like the prairie also comes to life when the wind blows. I love it. I can't wait to see the wind blow the snow into little prairie town.

Letters from "home"

Alright, Its excuse time. I'm sorry guys. I've been on the net less and less now and doing homework and social interaction more and more. However, since I'm not horribly cruel, here's whats going on in my life. Please forgive me the lack of any writing style or special wording like i normally prefer to write with, its late.

Gee. Where do I start?

OK. School work. I'm taking 6 courses, one of which is due at the end of this month. I have endless papers and presentations plus voice lessons and musical.
Yup. I'm taking voice. I've always loved singing, but never had the confidence in my self, so i decided to pay money to push myself out of my comfort zone. I have to say, my voice teacher is amazing. As soon as i feel comfortable with where I am, she pushes the bar out of reach again and says i have more to give her.

I am once again the audio tech for Resonant (formerly Sojourn). We have a new crew of people, and excellent voices to accompany this close knit group. A couple weeks ago, we all went up 1.25 hours past Regina to Circle Square Ranch for our annual retreat. I don't think I've ever pushed myself that far. When we weren't practising (I had to do homework then), I was out on the trampoline.
The second day we were there, we got to do the activities of the camp. My team started out at the climbing wall where I was tempted to climb the rear support trussing rather than the actual wall itself. It was a lot of fun though.
Next was the horses. Now, I've always been scared of these big animals, but I knew my director (who happens to do trick riding and such for the camp) and I knew that with him, I had no choice but to bond with a horse. He gave me the easiest horse, DJ. Aptly named perhaps? anyway, I barely had to do anything with this guy, he stopped and started at all the right times, all i needed to do was steer the horse in such a way that i wouldn't lose my face from branches. I don't mind them now
Lastly, was archery/BMX, which ever we wanted to do. I've never gone BMXing before, so i grabbed a bike and helmet. After a couple rounds around the course and a few jumps later, I was making another run and approached the first jump. Tire hit a loose rock and jolted off to the side throwing me off and sprawling on the ground now beautifully woven into the bike. I was fine. i was actually pretty stoked that i had a battle scar!
At the end of the weekend, I couldn't go much faster than a slow shuffle, i was so incredibly sore. Stairs were basically impossible. It sure felt GOOD.

Life on the high school dorm is definitely an experience. While its loud and mostly immature, I don't think i would trade this dorm to live on another. The kids on this hall are pretty cool. I live across from an American, with whom i am in a never ending debate between Canada and the states. (It was pretty sweet when the Canadian dollar went up).

I've fullfilled every small boy's dream of putting on a firefighter's gear and sitting in the firetruck. One of my friends, who is on the volunteer fire dept. here invited me to come with him to the station. I was sure excited when he offered to let me put on his own "turn out gear". Its one heck of an experience. It was awesome. We later had some pretty sweet man to man talks sitting on the front of a pumper truck watching the traffic on the number 1 whizz by.

I'm sure there's more to tell, but this is all my poor over tired brain will let me tell. God has really blessed me this year so far.

The call back

I can't describe it. Its just so special and amazing. What I'm talking about is God's love for me. Even when I walk so far away, become so lukewarm, and be so distasteful, I keep on getting called back to reality and just loved so lavishly that I can't ignore it.
Today this love reminded me of the promise I made and the passion through which I made and enacted upon this promise. The promise by which I agreed to teach and build children of God.
I've got some big life changes to make soon.

Kelowna. Day 4.

The singers are beginning to go crazy and act quite wierd. I think it more my fault than anything that I'm noticing this. Obviously if you're truly insane, you dont really have full knowledge of being insane, you're essentially normal. So I think that being the newbie, I'm grasping to what ever sanity i have left, while others have simply tossed theirs into the wind. I hope I can soon fling my sanity away so i can be sane once again.

Yesterday and today, we've been in Kelowna/Peachland for a show at Bethel Church in Kelowna. Tuesday we spent at Maple Springs Bible Camp just chilling as we didnt really have anything scheduled untill today. Not alot happened at the camp besides work detail for waking up late, pulling a muscle(trampoline), and great food.

Our concert, however, was a full load of challenges and interesting things. The church combined our dinner with an end of school program dinner, which allowed us to meet new people and talk about different things. I always love meeting new people. We had some issues with the sound system which required a call to the Productions Department for some technical expertise. The verdict was both encouraging and unfortunate, we were to either replace a piece of equipment, or cheat the problem by going against normal procedures. Either way, we ended up going with out a hitch. The concert sounded great too, though I was nervous due to the presence of my family sitting behind me. I wish I could write about that too...but I'm just too tired and my daddy needs to go to bed too. Maybe I'll remember to finish this next net access i get this trip.

*hugs from Kelowna*

Day Two

We had our first show last night in Airdrie, AB. It went really well.

The only real hitch was that Ron, our director, forgot his wallet which had the school's money for the trip, so we had to turn around after just leaving. But we still arrived in airdrie on time and had plenty of time to fix minor problems and setup.

The choir sounded amazing. I swear, they haven't sounded this good for the whole year. Its gonna be fun.

On the bus, we're all getting to know each other... really well. Those of us who have certain things they done like done, are learning either patience or acceptance. But its all in great fun and love.

My Billets in Airdrie were amazing. It was a couple who's kids had long grown up and moved off, but still recent enough to mother (and father) myself and the other guy to peices. The "father" and I watched the hockey game for a bit untill my room mate came out and "mother" with him...we chatted for a bit untill I almost fell asleep. We were promptly sent to bed.

Woke up the next morning, was fed breakfast and shoo'd out the door, but not before having lunches thrust at us and the command: EAT! We were definatly loved.

So today we've got the day off, we're settled in at this beautiful camp set in Sundre, AB. There's TREES here!!! *sigh* its beautiful. The camp itself is fairly new or at least seems new. So we're just relaxing. We're heading to another camp tomorow. Then Kelowna bound. See you guys soon.

First Tour

This'll be quick...or at least should be quick.

I leave in 8 hours on my very first band tour. I'll be responsible for well over $17000 worth of equipment and how good or how bad the choir sounds. I'm nervous. I wont lie.

I should say that I'll be fine though, the director seems to think that I'm one of the best sound guys he's had for the team, the choir members themselves are amazing. I can easily call them friends.

Oh boy. 8 hours and my room's not even packed. I gotta run. LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Twitter-Pated!

I agree, Spring is definatly the season of love. The season where more couples get together than all the other months put together of the school year. Even the most cynical of gruff 3rd years have found their "other half".

Me, I've found my spring love too. Even though I've struggled through bad choices and mistaken loves throughout the year, I'm drifting around on top of the world. I'm in love with God, and the calling he's placed on my life. After stumbling around, God's pulled me up out of the darkness and is teaching me and showing me things that I never thought I would see or learn.

My only regret is that this all had to happen so late in the year, however, I refuse to let this regret hold me back from such a marvelous life that God has for me.

I'll admit, there are some dark spots in this new life, but God's promised us that he is our refuge in times of trouble and even He will work in the trouble times. Recently I've been finding myself purely worshiping God during prayer meetings, even the most serious of cries for help and protection, because I can't come before Him with out being overwhelmed by his glory and majesty. I look at Him, and there's an All-Powerful, All-Knowing, All-Existing God who is beautiful beyond words or ideas, yet he loves us as he is beautiful, and cares for us so much that he makes his throne in each of us and exists and moves and speaks in our specific lives and our fellowship.

I know God is preparing me for some hard work this summer, and the remainder of the school year. He's pushing me further and further out of my comfort zone, and filling me more and more with his love and promises and the desire to know Him and Him ONLY.

Guys, I probably sound absolutely madly obsessed and enthralled. Thing is, I totally am. I'm madly in love, obsessed with his truth, enthralled by his beauty. I wish I could accurately tell you what's in my mind right now, but human language is so inadequate, and even then, i doubt it would make sense. Everyone has their own specially chosen path to follow before they can understand perhaps what I'm feeling and understanding.

Glory and Honour be to the God Most High. Praise Adonai.
Amen

Marriage Question?

Heads up: This is not about me. Just so you guys dont get your false hopes up ;)

I really want to know everyone's perspective on this:
Should people know, or have a good idea of where they're going before they begin thinking or pursuing other life decisions like marriage or even a very serious relationship?

My thing is, I'm seeing people find their someone special, but at the same time, they have no idea what they're going to do even the next year. For the most part, their attitudes have changed for the worst, reflecting the heightened stress on their life now that they're looking at marriage in a couple years, and dont even know what they're to do.

Let me know!

2 people, 2 views, 1 Creator

I wanted to share this with everyone. This is an email I sent to one of my very good friends here.

'Just recently I realized that for a long time this semester, I had fallen into a rut where I neglected to realize where or who I was focusing my efforts on. I was gratifying my own thoughts and such. So as part of my realization I asked God to remind me to keep my constant focus on Him.

Well, the night I went on that walk, I was tired of homework, didnt want to really be with people, or do anything, and I felt this small call to go for a walk, it was so small, I, at first, thought it was just an idea. So I left for the walk. I walked down toward the elementary school, and about halfway there, i began feeling that Jesus was walking right with me.

He gave me some confirmation in a small but very satisfying gift. As I turned to walk down the street leading into the elementary schools parking lot, I saw 3 girls, about grade 5, walking down the street toward me. To my delight, I recognized them as three girls from my Sunday school class and lunch time supervision, one of them being the "Queen" troublemaker at church. This girl surprised me by calling out to me and initiating a brief conversation with me. Its was such a confirmation that although she was such a pain in class, that I did actually mean something in her life. (Its so hard to describe just how much I love these kids each regardless of what they do...I just cant)

God continued to work with me. After I came back to grab a jacket, I went back out. It was as if Jesus said to me, "Lets try something. I'm gonna chose where we walk now. I'm not going to tell you, you're just going to have to pay close attention." So we spent the next while walking through the streets, sometimes taking really bizarre routes, last minute turns, and taking me the long way around some areas. I had an idea that I'd walk down the street where I saw the girls, but God had me avoid that street all together. We walked to the point, then back to the dorm. As a last direction, He told me to go through the back door, even though I could easily have gone through the main door.

As I reached the back door, I noticed that someone had gotten a fire going and was standing there alone. Curious, I went over to find out who it was and why the fire. When I walked up, the last direct message I got from my walking buddy (Jesus) was, "Talk to him."

Turns out, the someone was Vince, a high school kid from Whit 3. Such an incredible kid. It was kind of awkward at first, because neither he or I had seen each other, and the way he talked about the fire (how I started the conversation) was a bit wierd.

We stood out there by the dying fire talking about various stuff, but kept coming back to the fire. This guy has such a fascination with fire, its properties, power, and mysteries. As I type this, I can think of a whole bunch of "object lessons" and christian discussions I could have used this subject to bridge to, but at the moment, I didnt think of it. The cool part was where we both marveled at the mysterious power of fire, how it was so...with out physical form, yet extremely powerful.

This young man, who was brought up with not-christian habits and slangs, who probably built more fires than I've read my bible, or done devotions, effectively silenced me, marveling at the beauty and glory of God in this simple fire. We were looking at the same fire, but one was marveling at the flames and heat, the other was marveling at the creator.

I got two things out of this, a connection with this young man, and a reverence for God. God is SO GOOD!'

Bed time for me.

Them Old Days Never Die

I made a mistake.
I've been swamped with homework and so I've been shutting myself away from society in the library just to get papers in on time. I've also been downing my prescribed medication to help me focus better. This smallish pill is a stimulant that works for 4 and 8 hours depending on which one of 2 I take.
In my determination, stress, and focus I grabbed the bottle I normally grab for long homework stretches, the 8 hour one. Unfortunately to me, I forgot to take into account that this was a FOUR hour stretch with bedtime occurring immediately after.
Well, a stimulant does its wonder by, you guessed it, stimulating the brain to focus on the task at hand. In essence, the brain works more efficiently. By the time bed came around, my brain was in 5th gear and just about every possible thought probably went through my head.
Meanwhile, my poor exhausted body is just crying out for sleep and my sensible brain is telling me that I have to sleep as I would be waking up early. Unfortunately, no one told my brain that sleep required it to shut up!
At about 3am I got up to find out why there were shouts of "Roman Candle", "at my window", "shaving cream", and the like. After counter-pranks were plotted and carried out, I felt my body screaming for sleep and thought maybe I'll just crash. Besides, my meds should have been running out by then.
For another hour, I tossed and turned, as sleep crept ever so slowly toward me. Finally, out of sheer desperate need and last resort, I did something that I haven't done in years. Something that almost always helped me fall asleep at night.
Yup. I admit. I grabbed Hobs (my child hood teddy bear) curled up with him close to my chest. Funny, He seemed alot bigger last time. But it worked. It calmed my frustration at not being able to sleep, and got me that much more comfortable.

I guess we never do grow up. We just get big.

Meet Jazzy

So I dont know who's seen my newest little sister...So here she is!



Isnt she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? I just wanna hold her and squeeze her (not too tight tho). *sigh* i have to wait untill summer break.

On being a 5th wheel

If theres one thing worse than being a 3rd wheel (that is going somewhere with a bf/gf couple), its being a 3rd wheel to TWO couples.
I've never been so bored and ticked off. I made a couple attempts to attach myself to one of the two groups, but received messages that I just did not fit in. The second attempt was initiated by the only other male and his girlfriend, and it helped me feel better to know that at least someone knew how I was feeling. That I had no girlfriend to drag me around and that there were minimal guy focused stores in this mall. I felt better, that is, untill I became no one again. I thought I had seen the end of this already!
Following around the two for a bit I quickly realized 2 things: 1. Their invitation was merely polite and possibly out of pity, and 2. No matter how virtuous the intent was, I was doomed to be the 3rd wheel, the tag along, as some couples have eyes only for their mate. This plane was on its way down in the deathly spiral.
It makes me mad actually. I spend alot of time and energy doing what I love (or at least thought I did): being nice and showing my friends that I love them. And what do I get in return? Not alot. Whats the use? It seems that people will just forget about me, until they need something, or I'm the only one left.
Okay, so maybe I'm more hurt than mad. Could this be what we do to Christ who loves us so much? The one who gives of himself out of love? Do we accept his love and gifts, use them, then completely forget him until we need him again? I know I've done this, but now that I've been on the receiving end, I sure hope I don't ever do this again. I'd rather be beaten senseless than used and neglected. It hurts more.

A rant: So very sorry

I know its been forever since I've updated this blog and then to come back with a rant isnt really fair for all of you, but I really gotta get this off of my chest.

If I was new to relationships, with no previous experiences or examples of them, I would honestly be turned off of relationships after seeing how a couple of my friends did things in theirs. I love being his friend and I love being her friend, but really really dont like being "THEIR" friend.

Apart from each other, they're such amazing people, loving, caring, respectful, and considerate. People I would trust my life with. But some how, the moment they get close, no one else exists and those that do enter their world is an immediate threat to their "utopia".

I love them so much and really do want to see this relationship work, but right now the way it seems to be going, I hate it (the relationship). Every time I think about it, I feel like I'm groping around in a murky pond with a film of selfishness (or non-selflessness).

I'm not saying that I know how a relationship should go. I mean I have an idea how I want mine to work, but no matter how I think about it or look at it, I get this feeling that something needs to change. Let me correct myself, I KNOW that something needs to change or stop. I've been on a road very similar to this one and know whats at the end of the road.

There seems to be alot of fear on his part (I spend more time with him than her) that this perfect girl will be ripped from his hands. Of course its hard to see through the disguises and mask. Any time there was a threat of change, removal, or end, it felt like 300 foot walls were put up 100 thick.

I hate seeing this! The anxiety, fear, pain. I hate that I may have to be the bad guy to my very good friends. I know that apart from the tangled web of this relationship they both care for me and respect me very much and wouldn't hate me forever. However, its the initial feelings I'm afraid of. As much as I try not to put any currency on what others think of me and how much they like me, Its so hard to love someone so much that they push you away. All I can do otherwise is pray my heart out to my Saviour and let him take it.

"Him" and "Her", if you guys do happen to read this and know who I'm talking about, I'm very sorry you guys had to find out about how I feel this way. I assure you that I have no slanderous intent and I have been fully honest in everything. I do love you guys.

I'm so sorry if this is disjointed and confusing, I had to take a cool down period before I wrote this and so I'm trying to remember, organize and feel everything and put it all in this horridly inadequate human language.

In Christ's Love,

Dan

Prologue

Hey Everyone,
I'm excited to tell you about some amazing things that are happening here at Briercrest. Unfortunatly, I really have to go to bed right now. So here's a quick bite: Basically, God has answered prayers. Revival is coming and has come here, Almost daily now, I'm seeing the Spirit break down walls, passions for God renewed, and lives saved. So far, one worship service and one chapel have had such presence of God that the worship and prayer have continued on for hours. God's teaching us the true meaning of church and fellowship. Brothers and Sisters have a new meaning to me in this context. This isnt just a small thing, its growing we're hearing more often of people getting together to worship or pray informally. Its a common thing to see entire tables at the caf. praying together. I'm so excited to see what God's going to do. Youth Quake is coming too.

My earnest and desperate request is we need prayer. Prayer for people to be prepared for this working of the Holy Spirit, prayer for those of us who have seen and experienced and been broken down for God, prayer for discernment, strength, courage, and wisdom. I really believe that this is part of a wide spread working of God for the revival of the Canadian (and North American) church. Please begin to pray for us here. Have your friends and the churches pray for this too. I'm not sure when I'll get around to emailing the church about this and asking for thier prayer, but if someone could bring that up, that would be great.

Praise God!

Ok. So I'm getting distracted again.

What if unforseen things cause me to go back on a goal/committment/promise that was something that I had decided for myself, but not a bad thing to go back on? Take my decision that I would get through my college years unmarried or unengaged, for example. What if I met someone?
Now don't get all excited or whatever, because thats far from happening. But is it detrimental to my reputation or unethical?
Just a question. Leave a comment and let me know!