If theres one thing worse than being a 3rd wheel (that is going somewhere with a bf/gf couple), its being a 3rd wheel to TWO couples.
I've never been so bored and ticked off. I made a couple attempts to attach myself to one of the two groups, but received messages that I just did not fit in. The second attempt was initiated by the only other male and his girlfriend, and it helped me feel better to know that at least someone knew how I was feeling. That I had no girlfriend to drag me around and that there were minimal guy focused stores in this mall. I felt better, that is, untill I became no one again. I thought I had seen the end of this already!
Following around the two for a bit I quickly realized 2 things: 1. Their invitation was merely polite and possibly out of pity, and 2. No matter how virtuous the intent was, I was doomed to be the 3rd wheel, the tag along, as some couples have eyes only for their mate. This plane was on its way down in the deathly spiral.
It makes me mad actually. I spend alot of time and energy doing what I love (or at least thought I did): being nice and showing my friends that I love them. And what do I get in return? Not alot. Whats the use? It seems that people will just forget about me, until they need something, or I'm the only one left.
Okay, so maybe I'm more hurt than mad. Could this be what we do to Christ who loves us so much? The one who gives of himself out of love? Do we accept his love and gifts, use them, then completely forget him until we need him again? I know I've done this, but now that I've been on the receiving end, I sure hope I don't ever do this again. I'd rather be beaten senseless than used and neglected. It hurts more.
2 comments:
My poor Daniel!
I appreciated your parrallel to how God must feel when we forget about Him. It shows maturity and the ability to think outside of oneself to be able to take a life lesson out of even a hurtful situation.
When the time comes that you will find your beloved I know that you will be able to reflect on this to ensure that you are considering your friend's feelings and comfort levels.
S
I agree with you that it is boring and hurtful etc. to be shut out by couples.
The polite invitation may not have had anything to do with pity; it may have been well-intentioned by people who mean to be your friend too, but are just very wrapped up in a special new person.
It does get better.
I used to initiate "girl's nights" when I had had enough, and those were a lot of fun and a bit of a break.
Other than that? Patience, other friends, and finding ways to keep myself busy and happy are most helpful. Maybe carry a book with you and sit and read on the mall bench if you have to.
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